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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723632">Everpresence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starsong/pseuds/Starsong'>Starsong</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Putting the Ever in Forever [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5-4-3-2-1 coping technique, Anxiety Attacks, But also, Coping Mechanisms, Feels, Friendship, Grian feels, Grian is a good friend, Healthy Coping Mechanisms, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mumbo feels, Mumbo worries himself into a panic attack, Panic Attacks, That's it that's the plot, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Wholesomeness, also featuring Mumbo melting over Grian, and Grian shows up and helps!, but - Freeform, friends being soft, going non-verbal, it ended up being more shippy than planned, so moderate Grumbo feels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:41:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723632</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starsong/pseuds/Starsong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd gotten good, lol. </p><p>And then he remembered the beacon. He found he couldn't breath.</p><p> <br/>- </p><p>Or, Mumbo is a bit of a spoon, but it's alright, he doesn't need a beacon to get good. Stress has caught up to him, though, and that's all anxiety needs to rear its ugly head up. </p><p>Luckly, his fellow hobbit shows up to offer a steady hand.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mumbo Jumbo/Grian, Mumbo Jumbo/Grian (implied), Oliver Brotherhood &amp; Charles | Grian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Putting the Ever in Forever [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2133993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>189</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Everpresence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello all, I've been reading from afar for a long while and I've finally decided to join in on the writing fun!</p><p>Hope you've glanced at the tags, but, if you're like me, you may have just skimmed over them, so please don't skip over the next bit!! </p><p><strong>WARNING:</strong> This work contains a pretty explicit description of a panic attack. Mumbo also goes non-verbal for the entirety of the fic, with one short exception towards the end. If any of this might affect you, please be careful, don't push yourself even if you're just curious.</p><p>This is only Hermitcraft personas, not real people. It does contain possibly moderate Grumbo hints despite not having planned that (at first).</p><p>That being said, if you feel fine with continuing, I really hope you find this at least an okay read. </p><p>Right. I'll just add that half of this is taken from my own experience of both having suffered a minor panic attack and having helped someone calm down from one (not using this method, as I hadn't known of it back then, and I really wish I had, so consider this fanfic as also a way of making people aware of this easy and useful coping mechanism). The non-verbal bit is also inspired by my own episodes. The other half, since I've not a lot of experience in regards to anxiety or panic attacks, is me pretty much trying to be accurate and respectful (aka not blowing the gravity of the situation out of proportion, but... y'know, not just glossing over it for some cheap feels either).</p><p>Also, as said above, the Grumbo was supposed to either be really subtle, as to not upset peeps who only wanted some wholesome friendship feels, or just plain platonic. But... yeah, unfortunately my brain is permanently on the shipping setting, broken and unmoving from it, and as I wrote this kept getting more mushy and Mumbo's brain kept geting stuck on Grian and yeah... XD</p><p>Anyway, goodness, has this gotten long! I'm terribly sorry for that, but I hope you've understood the warnings. I really don't want people to be uncomfortable or to get hurt.</p><p>I've looked over this about 50 times, tried to edit it as much as I could, but it's certainly possible some mistakes slipped through. I've no energy to weave through it some more, but I might come back at a later point and glance over it again.</p><p>Alas, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just as the minecart with the chest disappeared from view, the image of a beacon blinked into existence in his mind with the intensity of impending doom.</p><p> </p><p>“Ohhh no, a beacon!!” a wail that he’d never admit to escaped him. “Do beacons count?? Do I need beacons to get good??? Ohhh gosh, I hope I don’t, I really do hope I don’t!” he laughed, but it felt almost despairing.</p><p> </p><p>Mumbo dragged both hands down his face, a whispering echo of <em>you idiot</em> flitting through his brain. He walked back out of the Hobbit hole (Hobbit hole inside a Hobbit hole? Hobbit hole no. 2? Hobbit holinception, gosh) and sat down on a grass block near the entrance, groaning. He leaned his head back, slumping against the raised mini dirt hill next to the entrance, and stared ahead at the Nether Portal that acted as a curtain beyond the wall of dirt and two random iron blocks he’d used to seal up the hole that Grian had made.</p><p> </p><p>Absentmindedly, he played with his moustache and tried not to let the whole process he’d need to go through to get even 1 Wither Skull to fight the frightening mob get his mood down further. Normally, the small and insignificant motion would slowly calm his nervousness, but today’s been quite harrowing, and it was no surprise something as trivial as this would be what did him in. He could feel his eyes start stinging and the next breath he took in was a slightly shaky one.</p><p> </p><p>That one trembling inhale was all it took to shock him into another one, then into a hiccup. He tried to slow his breath, bringing his palms up and covering his mouth. He couldn’t believe it, couldn’t fathom the why and how, his focus on his shaky breaths, hitches and almost-gasps, he couldn’t control them.</p><p> </p><p>Lost in his anxiety-induced panic, Mumbo didn’t hear the sound of a minecart approaching rapidly, nearly engulfed by delighted laughter.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Definitely one of the best ideas I’ve ever had! Maybe I should bring Professor Beak along once, bet he’d like it.” </em>A bright voice muttered lightly into the spruce-scented air of the hobbit tunnel.</p><p>
  
</p><p>The warm voice went unheard over the ringing in Mumbo’s ears, only made worse by the quickening breaths he tried to catch.</p><p> </p><p>A blond figure stepped beyond the tunnel entrance, calling out his friend’s name. He was smiling brightly as he glanced around, seeing the thin but tall hole in the dirt wall behind Mumbo’s Nether Portal. When his gaze landed on the fallen and trembling form of the redstoner, his smile wilted, worry exploding like a nova in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Mumbo?”</p><p> </p><p>The voice was brightly vivid and warm familiarity and, even through the blurring of earthy colours and a red unmistakable sweater, nearly shapeless from the tears in his eyes, Mumbo knew Grian.</p><p> </p><p>He tried to speak, to get his voice out from the maze his own throat had become, but, between his uncontrolled breaths and the sweaty clutch he still had over his lips, no words came. His throat locked up and he suddenly realized he couldn’t do it, couldn’t talk, he’d tear out his own vocal cords if he were to dare and verbalize. The resulting shock and gripping fear sent him spiralling.</p><p> </p><p>A loud hiccupping breath was the only answer the shorter man received, instead.</p><p> </p><p>But it was the only answer he needed.</p><p> </p><p>Grian quickly and calmly closed the short distance between the entrance of the tunnel to the small mound of raised earth and grass that Mumbo had all but collapsed on. He knelt next to the taller man, who, curled up as he was, appeared heart-breakingly small.</p><p> </p><p>“Mumbo, can you look at me?” Grian asked, eyes and voice full of concern, but he knew he had to stay composed.</p><p> </p><p>The redstoner, despite having looked at Grian and acknowledging his presence, hadn’t paid attention to the movements of his friend. He quickly focused on the blond-haired man next to him, letting out a rattling breath that had him even more mortified and he tightened the already snug hold over his mouth. At this rate, he’d end up fainting from the lack of oxygen, not that his panicked mind could make the connection.</p><p> </p><p>Grian noticed the movement and held in a wince, he needed to help Mumbo now, to put his own faint panic second, it was unimportant in this moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I touch you, Mumbo?” he asked, raising his hands, motioning towards his friend.</p><p> </p><p>The brunet looked at him, trying to understand what Grian was asking him. Though he could barely feel his body beyond the burning of his chest and throat (definitely not a good thing, his agitated mind managed to fleetingly realize), he gave a quick and jerky nod to the other man, which resulted in a strained wheeze.</p><p> </p><p>The builder steeled his resolve despite the worry simmering in his chest, and reached out with his hands. He placed his palms over the back of Mumbo’s own, and gently eased them from the tight grip over the taller man’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Mumbo sucked a sharp and wheezing breath, disrupting his already accelerated and irregular breathing rhythm, and he instinctively constricted his grip. A split-second of worry for the tips of Grian’s fingers ran like lightning through his chest, but the blue-eyed man only gave a short and reassuring little squeeze of his own in return.</p><p> </p><p>Grian pulled their hands apart, taking his friend’s left hand and grasping them together before gently placing Mumbo’s on his knee. The brunet automatically began clutching at the pale fabric, and Grian swiftly pulled the sleeve of his soft sweater up before laying it atop the taller man’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>Then, he took the other’s right hand and, making sure his friend could see, slowly placed it on the cool ground between them. He smiled at Mumbo and placed his warm hand over his, a stark contrast from the cold floor.</p><p> </p><p>“There.” He said, and then mentally gathered himself, hoping he remembered the method correctly. It had been some time since any of his friends had needed it and he wondered what could’ve upset his friend so much, especially as he’d came here after receiving good news, not bad ones. “Mumbo, breath with me, in,” he took a deep breath, trying to both steady himself and the brunet, “and out.” He exhaled, just as slowly and controlled as when he breathed in.</p><p> </p><p>The redstoner watched through blurry eyesight, but the small touches already appeared to help considerably. Although shaky at best, the somewhat slow breath he took in finally seemed to reach deep in his chest. The burning that felt like it had made a permanent home in his lungs fractionally eased, and the following exhale felt like the least trembling that he’d released ever since the start of his panic.</p><p> </p><p>“Good, Mumbo!” his friend said, familiar and comforting smile shining through Mumbo’s cloudy vision.</p><p> </p><p>He found himself giving a quick nod, before another hitching hiccup left his throat, making his entire body jolt.</p><p> </p><p>Grian gently patted his hands, bringing the brunet’s attention back to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, let’s do it one more time, yeah? C’mon, together, slowly,” and the builder breathed in and out, keeping his gaze on Mumbo’s red-tinted face, searching for any sign of worse to come.</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, the taller man followed his lead, inhale and exhale still too hurried, but visibly better.</p><p> </p><p>This time, it was Grian who gave a nod, encouraging and hearty.</p><p> </p><p>“Good,” he repeated, “Now, you don’t need to say it aloud, alright?” he said pointedly, ”Just look around, okay? Find 5 things you can see and then just nod at me when you’ve done it, yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>Mumbo gave another shaky nod, forever grateful and warmed beyond belief. Grian understood, he didn’t force him to speak, and although this was far from the first time he’d helped him out with an anxiety attack, it was the first in a long while. The last one had been long before the end of their sixth world, and in a corner of his mind he absently found himself wondering if this one had been a long time coming.</p><p> </p><p>Still, Mumbo did as his friend had asked of him.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing he did was to rapidly blink away the tears still limiting his vision, feeling them slide down his burning cheeks. <em>Grian</em>, he said in the middle of his rushing thoughts, his focus always pulled to the glassy, vibrant oceans that were Grian’s eyes. <em>Grass</em> followed, as he pulled his glance from the other man. <em>Iron blocks</em> was next. <em>Nether Portal</em>, through the hole in the wall. Finally, <em>Hobbit tunnel</em>.</p><p> </p><p>He turned his gaze back to the blond seated next to him, face still a mix of worry and encouragement. He gave a quick nod and a loud and shaky sigh and watched as the small smile on his friend’s face grew.</p><p> </p><p>“Good!” Grian praised, and the knot in Mumbo’s chest eased a fraction more. “Now, 4 things you can touch.”</p><p> </p><p>And he finally understood why Grian moved his hands away in such a way. <em>Genius</em>, his mind whispered, and he realized he could already feel his breath slow significantly. Still wheezing and laboured, but nowhere as worrying as before.</p><p> </p><p><em>Pale trousers</em>, he thought, <em>soft red sleeve</em>. <em>The cold ground</em> <em>and a warm hand</em>. Also, <em>sweat</em>, he realized, and he was instantly aware of how sweaty he’d become. Suddenly, it centred him, to have a front seat of his own body and feel it so clearly.</p><p> </p><p>At his more focused nod, Grian continued, asking for 3 things he could hear, but didn’t remove the soothing pressure of his hands form atop Mumbo’s own. A gentler warmth began replacing the desperation for oxygen in his chest.</p><p> </p><p><em>Grian</em>, his mind supplied yet again before the builder could even finish, <em>the shaky but steadier breaths from his out chest</em>, and <em>the</em> <em>ghastly Nether Portal</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Another warm cheer followed his nod, and then a request of 2 things he could smell.</p><p> </p><p>The musky ground, he thought, and then, faithfully, one last time, <em>Grian</em>. The wood-y smell of his own Hobbit hole that seemed to dominate since the start of the new season and the golden carrots he loved to eat from way, way back. But, what pulled most of his nose’s attention was the flowery scent underneath it all. Prominent ever since the shenanigans of the Area 77 vs Hippies happened, as all the hugs shared since then with Grian could attest, but present long before then.</p><p> </p><p>Another nod, another few trembling breaths, but the most composed so far.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, last one!” Grian said, brightly, smile wide, worry diminished by the significant progress. “One thing you can taste, please?”</p><p> </p><p>Mumbo was flummoxed. He would’ve loved to provide an answer, even to his thoughts, as it was, but the taste of the golden carrots he’d eaten hours back had already disappeared. He rolled his tongue inside his mouth, trying to maybe manage to somehow catch a hint of the slightly sweet vegetable. And then, just as he brushed the tip of his tongue at the back of his mouth’s roof, he tasted it.</p><p> </p><p>“Redstone!”</p><p> </p><p>It shocked both of them.</p><p> </p><p>And then Grian laughed, a cheery and contagious little giggle. It was full of relief and it made Mumbo’s heart clench with a bit of guilt. Still, a breathy chuckle left him as well.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course it’d be that, Mister Mumbo Jumbolio!” the builder grinned.</p><p> </p><p>Mumbo tried to look unimpressed, but he couldn’t keep a straight face after all that. A giggle left him, and he found himself shrugging, unhelpful as always. He watched as Grian shook his head and then the brunet gently lifted his hands from under the shorter man’s ones. He grabbed at the sleeves of his patterned shirt and brought up, pressing his fists against his eyes. A final shaky sigh left him and then, in an uncharacteristic move, he used them to wipe whatever tears haven’t already dried from his face along with the salty remnants of those that did.</p><p> </p><p>He can be disgruntled with himself later, he just didn’t have any napkins or handkerchiefs on him now. Lifting his head, he took a few more slow breaths, the cool air in the small room doing wonders for his fried nerves. He looked at Grian, suddenly feeling shy, but Grian was just watching him, fondness and concern crystal clear on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Feeling better?” the shorter man asked.</p><p> </p><p>Mumbo nodded. Although he’d blurted his earlier answer out, he still couldn’t make his vocal cords move on command. Instead, he offered a small smile, hoping that his non-verbal answer came across as genuine as it was. And it was, he really felt better, but a bone-deep tiredness was beginning to settle in.</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, Grian understood him easily.</p><p> </p><p>“Good! I’m glad, Mumbo.” The blond smiled, a soft look on his face, relief bleeding through like water from a squeezed sponge. Then, his smile fell, expression turning uneasy. “You don’t need to tell me, but…” he looked to the side, “what brought this on?” he glanced back to the redstoner.</p><p> </p><p>Mumbo faltered too. How could he explain without making Grian feel guilty? It had been <em>his</em> challenge that he’d worried himself into such a state over. But it wasn’t his fault, <em>Mumbo</em> was the one who’d assumed the beacon was needed. That and, again, he wondered how stressed he’d been in the last while, had this really been a long time coming after all?</p><p> </p><p>Mumbo really didn’t have an answer.</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged, maintaining eye contact, before letting his head fall on his pulled-up knees.</p><p> </p><p>He heard his friend hum softly and let the soothing little sound wash over him.</p><p> </p><p>“Fair,” he heard.</p><p> </p><p>Lifting his head, he slid down the small hill he’d been perched on, reducing the height difference between the two of them, dislodging Grian’s hold on his leg. Then, he lifted his arms towards his friend.</p><p> </p><p>Grian immediately hugged him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Oof!</em>” the air whooshed right out of him, but he paid it no mind, just melting into the hug.</p><p> </p><p>He held his friend tightly and, pushing his face right into his neck, took a big breath through his nose. Flowery scent filled his lungs and calmed whatever nerves and agitation still remained. He slumped onto Grian and felt him tighten his grip.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get you to bed, Mumby, a nap would do you good.” Was quietly breathed into his hair.</p><p> </p><p>Goodness, a nap did sound glorious just about now, and he nodded sluggishly.</p><p> </p><p>Soft and bright laughter sounded in his ear and it pulled a smile from him. Sighing, he snuggled impossibly closer and decided to just..</p><p> </p><p>…maybe…</p><p> </p><p>….rest right there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>End.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welp, that took about an hour or two to get started, another few weeks to let simmer (fancy wording for procrastination, folks, believe me) and 2-3 days to actually get done. Oh, and another day to edit and post. Heckin' proud of this one!!</p><p>As I'm <em>not</em> someone who actually manages to finish their ideas, I'm a bit in the doubt as to whether I should say this or not, but I have another fic in progress. That one's gonna be focused on the whole "Mumbo hasn't been responding to Grian's messages/sending him messages" thingy. So, angst and more feels. Just my specialty, as I'm finding out. That one's definitely gonna have heavy Grumbo feels, tho.</p><p>Sadly, Easter break is over, and even with online classes, I still have a more practical degree I need to work for, which means that between days of procrastination and feeling straight up disconnected from the world, there's also Uni to worry about. With my luck, the next story to come from me will arrive in summer. Or maybe I'll feel impulsive and tank through it like I did with this one, we'll see.</p><p>Btw, quick question, does anyone know any of the Hermits' favourite in-game flowers? I'm just genuinely curious.</p><p>Constructive criticism is always welcome, so please do leave a comment if something's caught your eye! Kudos and bookmarks are just as appreciated, so thank you if you decided to drop one!</p><p>Anyway, hope you've enjoyed this, I'll see y'all in the next one!</p><p>Thank you for coming by!</p><p> </p><p> -</p><p>Also, I apologize for all the rambling, quarantine has cut whatever limited human interaction I had even shorter. Hope you're all safe. Stay home, wash your hands and be kind to yourselves (and others) ❤️</p></blockquote></div></div>
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